Relationships

Eye have learned there's a risk in human relationships, and it's often followed by pain. But eye am guarantee growth, and eye will find the happiness that eye seek, Eye will reach out to someone today.

Relationships with other people are necessary to escape loneliness, however eye have come to realize relationships do not guarantee freedom from pain. Nurturing a meaningful relationship with another human being takes patience, even when we do not have any.  It takes tolerance even if we don't feel it. It takes selflessness at these very moments my ego is crying for attention. We need relationships with others they inspire us. We learn who we are and who we can become via relationships, They push forward our accomplishments. Creativity is encouraged by then. Such as my emotional and spiritual development. As eye look around eye feel blessed even when it is a negative situation. Every situation is capable of inspiring a positive step forward. Every situation is meant for the betterment of self.



 

Anger is Ok

 It is OK for me to be angry today, it promoted growth if eye use it for good.
Anger is an emotion, not a bad one or a good one it simply exists when certain conditions in our lives are not met as we hoped. Eye can  free myself of this anger if eye choose to take action fitting to it.
Anger can be a healthy prompter of action. But when no action is taken anger turns inward, negatively influencing my perception of all experiences, all human interaction. Eye need to befriend all of my emotions. Eye will trust they can all serve me when eye befriend them, learn from them, act in healthy concert with them. My emotions the many faces of my soul. And all are valid deserving respect and acceptance. They are all representative of my inner self. Because eye am less at home with anger it becomes more powerful. When eye deny it, it doesn't disappear. It surfaces in unrelated circumstances, complicating my life in unnecessary ways. Eye have learned to enjoy my anger by celebrating the positive action it prompts. Eye will cherish the growth that accompanies it, when eye take the steps eye need to.

Anger Conquers When Unresolved

Emotions need recognition. But not only attention, they also need acceptance as powerful dimensions of who we are. Their influence over who we are. Their influence over who we are capable of becoming is mighty. Respectful attention to and willing acceptance of our emotions, whether fear or anger or jealousy take their sting. We can prevent them from growing larger then they are. Like a child who screams and misbehaves more and more until attention us won, our emotions grow larger and more intense the longer we deny their existence. Our emotions bless us in reality. Emotions enrich our experiences. Emotions are  maps on the road we are traveling. How we feel at any single moment raises the level of our security, how close we are to our higher Divinity, the level of commitment to ourself. On the other hand, when ignored or denied, emotions can immobilize us, even defeat us.
~ my feelings frequent my being always. They guide my behavior. They reflect my attitudes, they hint at my closeness to Divinity.~

Love breeds love

The need for love is universal. Each of us long for the affirmation that assures us we are needed, appreciated, desired. We are strengthened by the strokes others give us, and when the strokes are not there, we sometimes falter. Eye have learned with spiritual maturity comes the understanding we are loved, unconditionally by Divinity. The awareness of that love, the realization of strong presence, will build us up when when no other love shows up. Most of us still loose our connection to the Higher Being however. Until the time when we are certain about our value, about the presence of Divine love, we/eye will need to practice self affirmation. Learning how to nurture ourselves, how to be gentle and caressing the woman within, may take time. Unconditionally loving ourselves will become natural in time.
Love breeds love. Eye will shower it upon myself and others and relish the growing sense of all that emerges.

Trust

Eye made this pact with myself about 6 years ago that Eye would never fully trust another woman. Foolish as it may have seemed, at the time, eye did this to ensure eye wouldn't have to endure physical, mental, or emotional abuse, another "but I'm different" moment, or some sort of a calling brushed upon my canvas only to be a weak watercolor of what love should be. Then, after eye delved deeper into my thought processes, eye focused on the fallacy of my own promise.

What is the difference between trusting and fully trusting someone? You either do or you don't. Trust is like water. It always flows and you cannot control its unpredictable nature. The only thing you can do is decide whether or not you are going to swallow it or spit it out.

For the most part, trust tends to be the beginning and painful end of most relationships. It does not take long for two people to start taking each other for granted in small nuances that turn into painful misunderstandings. Trust is the first feeling that kisses a woman's forehead, allows her to swallow the lump in her throat, and tells her it's ok to let go...yet the lack of it can also be the last feeling she spits out and wipes off her lips before she walks away. Trust intrinsically becomes the catalyst for love to even exhale inside the relationship.

So, eye lived inside trust. It bit me, told me to remember that sting, embrace the bruises of its ways, and rethink what FULLY trusting really means. If eye am to give myself completely into the hands of my instincts, eye would need to deposit the fullness of trust into a heart that could recognize it, analyze its ingredients, and re-make my deposit into an investment eye would never have to regret.

Yet....

Eye now know the talks between trust, setback, broken promises, love, commitment, and the vigor of that combination will unlock my ability to just...let go. And...when she feels it, the kisses on the forehead will destroy the chances of walking away.

Never Again

The physics of life state that time plus frustration is an already combustible combination
Add in love and now it becomes a dangerous situation
Hot emotions boil over to a melting point
Here starts a relationship’s disintegration
eye love you becomes just for the sake of saying
Efforts and sacrifices are in vain because for granted they are taken
There is a loss of consideration
And an evaporation of patience
No longer are you feeling the appreciation
So in turn you no longer have motivation
Now begins the blaming and accusations
But both are equally guilty of hindering love’s growth and maturation
If eye miss you were simply said it would be understated
Are you missing me as eye am you
eye wonder if eye’ve made as big of an impact on your life as you have mine
Or has love for you become so minute that it is easy to turn off and on
Your love of self overshadowed your love of us
Somehow distracting your attention from the bigger picture
Struggled so much with the shallow matters
No strength to cope in the deeper issues
Wish eye could have surveyed the situation through your eyes as you through mine
Only then we could have analyzed true compromise
Done with finger pointing; we lost ourselves in the jungle of self-absorption
Tangled and devoured by the vines of selfishness
Did we have the same view of commitment?
Or is it our personal experiences defined its definition
Within wanting so much to be understood we lost its seriousness
Your ears longing to hear me asking while my eyes begged to see some action
Close your ears and open thy heart
Can you now hear the long awaited sentiment of marry me in between
My works and personal sacrifices
eye wish eye would have just closed my eyes and blindly followed my heart
Probably then eye would have felt the determination behind your wordiness
Just have bent my knee and taken that blind leap of faith
Would that have been the difference made?
Would it have washed away the gray?
Clouds of doubt erased
Opening your vision to better days
Or were you in a permanent personal haze
Killing off all hope by over saturating your thoughts with never’s rain
Sabotaging change by never giving us a chance
Now do you give up without doubts never having to play the if game
Or will eye be for you as you are for me
A true sense of love that will never again be attained?....

Abuse

Let me ask this question. Do women really know what the diference  between aggressive and abusive? AGGRESSIVE: BOLDLY ASSERTIVE; FORWARD  ABUSIVE: TREATING.BADLY OR INJURIOUSLY; MISTREATING, ESP. PHYSICALLY;  EXPRESSING OFFENSIVSE PHYSICAL, MENTAL, SEXUAL, OR VERBAL REPROACH.Now,  I'm all for aggresive women they make me... Well that's another blog  for another day. Aggression is a vibe you give off like a aura your  swagger, your style. Abuse is something that usually comes out later on  in a relationship when the victim (man or woman) has his/her guard down.  Most women that eye have encountered no matter what race or sexuality say  that they want an aggressive women or an aggressive man. But when that woman  or man turns into an abusive partner a lot of women still stay. Why is  that? Don't get me wrong eye love an aggressive woman but when she beats  on me physically, emotionally, and/or mentally it's time to go. Today my sorro called because her and her boyfriend had a  fight (she went to work before bruised up black eyes, busted swollen  lips etc. and she had been calling out frequently. eye said to  another soror"eye hope she's ok." She responded "my boyfriend beats on  me and eye  go to work, so  should she." She said "he grabs me and  shakes me when eye piss him off, but eye know when to shut up so he doesn't  raise his fist at me" eye just looked at the phone in amazement at how  nonchalant she was. eye've been there before, eye've  had a woman hit be but  she would tell me it was for old and new encase eye did something eye mean  WTF and you know what my so called "friends" told me "N" just do what  she says and anything you think she may want you to do before she asks  you to do it you now, to keep her of ya ass so much" she has  hit me and  she tore me down mentally and eye'm still recovering. When eye was younger eye  went through it with a bully (ex number 2) who did all types of shyt to  me that had me throwing up blood and some more shyt. eye won't go through  it again. That's my word. To my women or men that maybe going through  this if your partner is going to change it WON'T BE BECAUSE YOU STAYED!Staying will only get you hurt or even killed. eye  know it's hard and you  want to be the rock that your partner needs to change and become a  better person but you are only allowing yourself to be a enabler, a  punching bag. Get out for yourself and for the people who love you. And  remember Abuse never equals EYE Love You. While we are on the topic of  abuse and aggression let me ask another question why is it that NOT ALL  BUT SOME studs/Doms feel that the only way the prove that they are the  more dominant person in the relationship. WE KNOW THAT, THAT'S WHY WE  ARE ATTRACTED TO YOU DUMB ASS!! Abuse is not a turn-on nor does it make you more  of a stud/Dom Yeah that's not a good look. To all my Doms/studs that are  doing love that right way eye got nothing but love and respect for you.