Trust

Eye made this pact with myself about 6 years ago that Eye would never fully trust another woman. Foolish as it may have seemed, at the time, eye did this to ensure eye wouldn't have to endure physical, mental, or emotional abuse, another "but I'm different" moment, or some sort of a calling brushed upon my canvas only to be a weak watercolor of what love should be. Then, after eye delved deeper into my thought processes, eye focused on the fallacy of my own promise.

What is the difference between trusting and fully trusting someone? You either do or you don't. Trust is like water. It always flows and you cannot control its unpredictable nature. The only thing you can do is decide whether or not you are going to swallow it or spit it out.

For the most part, trust tends to be the beginning and painful end of most relationships. It does not take long for two people to start taking each other for granted in small nuances that turn into painful misunderstandings. Trust is the first feeling that kisses a woman's forehead, allows her to swallow the lump in her throat, and tells her it's ok to let go...yet the lack of it can also be the last feeling she spits out and wipes off her lips before she walks away. Trust intrinsically becomes the catalyst for love to even exhale inside the relationship.

So, eye lived inside trust. It bit me, told me to remember that sting, embrace the bruises of its ways, and rethink what FULLY trusting really means. If eye am to give myself completely into the hands of my instincts, eye would need to deposit the fullness of trust into a heart that could recognize it, analyze its ingredients, and re-make my deposit into an investment eye would never have to regret.

Yet....

Eye now know the talks between trust, setback, broken promises, love, commitment, and the vigor of that combination will unlock my ability to just...let go. And...when she feels it, the kisses on the forehead will destroy the chances of walking away.